A Very Frank Horoscope

Meet Mercury, the smallest planet in our solar system (RIP Pluto). It’s the closest planet to the Sun, and, for the astrologically ignorant, it’s responsible for every bad thing that’s going to happen to you until September 22nd. That’s because Mercury is in retrograde, and this hateful little planet is here to cosmically kick in your door, leave crumbs all over your couch, and hog the bathroom. Becky with the Good Hair steal your significant other? Sounds like Mercury to me. Time to get your oil changed? That’s Mercury for you. If you’re wondering how to get through it, it’s simple: trust no one. That concludes this interplanetary report from Frank Collective.

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